graduation rumination

 

hiimasiian: you’re a duke alum!
  
DUKE ALUM!!
 
me: yes i am
 
hiimasiian: yay congrats YAY
11:54 PM 
:D
  
^.^
  
happyhappyhappy!
11:56 PM 
me: im glad you are enjoying it :)
 
hiimasiian: well
  
i’m not
  
but i’m saying.
  
you should be right?
  
and i’d be happy if you were happy to graduate?
  
i hate graduations
11:57 PM 
i just feel like it’s supposed to be happy but i never know why
 
me: its not that great
  
its boring
  
you see everyone you love cry
  
and then you leave them
its kind of like dying

h: you’re a duke alum!

DUKE ALUM!!

 

me: yes i am

 

h: yay congrats YAY

:D

 ^.^

  happyhappyhappy!

 

me: im glad you are enjoying it :)

 

h: well

i’m not

but i’m saying.

you should be right?

and i’d be happy if you were happy to graduate?

i hate graduations

i just feel like it’s supposed to be happy but i never know why

 

me: its not that great

its boring

you see everyone you love cry

and then you leave them

its kind of like dying

Sentimentality

 

Sentimentality.
调料: 
(1) disappointment 
(2) self-pity 
(3) regret
Stir endlessly. 很苦就好。
不 constructive.
没有道理
也不, contrary to popular belief, 特别
多愁善感
Poise,听说过吗?
In the end, 真的不算什么!
Then why do I feel, 真的,this is 太残忍了? 
I really wish I could 自私的给她所有.
Why 要诚恳, 所谓的 etiquitte. 我需要游过他们的 fake 微笑 to get to you.
这一切, its hard to swallow.
独自一个人, I know I’ll be ok. 放弃吧...
But, maybe 在给我五分钟
我 still 舍不得

调料: 

(1) disappointment 

(2) self-pity 

(3) regret

Stir endlessly. 越苦越好。

 

不 constructive.

没有道理

也不, contrary to popular belief, 特别

 

多愁善感

Poise,听说过吗?

In the end, 真的不算什么!

 

Then why do I feel, 真的,this is 太残忍了? 

爱 too late is also 爱

 

I really wish I could 自私的给她所有.

要诚恳, 所谓的 etiquitte. 我需要游过他们的 fake 微笑 .

 

这一切, its hard to swallow.

独自一个人, I know I’ll be ok. 放弃吧...

 

But, maybe 在给我五分钟

我 still 舍不得

Fish 魚

Happy New Year :)

陳綺貞 – 魚

Cheer Chen – Fish

 

我坐在椅子上  看日出复活 

我坐在夕阳里  看   城市的衰弱 

我摘下一片叶子  让它代替我 

观察离开后的变化 

 

I sit in my chair,

Watching as sunrise brings the world back to life.

I sit within the fading sunset,

Watching as the city falls into ruin.

Plucking a leaf, 

I let it take my place.

I leave—what’s changed?

 

曾经  狂奔  舞蹈  贪婪的说话 

随著冷的湿的心 腐化

 

Back then, 

Dancing wildly, 

Speaking of having it all.

Now along with my cold wet heart, 

I’m wasting away.

 

带不走的 丢不掉的  让大雨侵蚀吧 

让他推向我在边界   奋不顾身挣扎 

如果有一个怀抱      勇敢不计代价 

别让我飞  将我温柔豢养

 

What you can’t take with you,

What you can’t throw away,

Just let the heavy rain wash away.

I let him push me to the brink—even with my life on the line, I fought for us.

If there’s one embrace brave enough to be without a price,

Don’t let me fly—please handle with care.

 

带不走的留不下的我全都交付他 

让他捧著我在手掌 自由自在挥撒

如果有一个世界浑浊的不像话 

原谅我飞 曾经眷恋太阳

 

What I couldn’t take with me, 

What I couldn’t leave behind,

I entrusted it all to him.

I let him hold me in the palm of his hand, rolling back and forth as he wished.

If there’s a world polluted beyond reason, 

Forgive me for flying, for once longing for the sun.

 

如果有一个世界浑浊的不像话 

我会疯狂的爱上

 

If there’s a world polluted beyond reason,

I will fall madly in love.

남자를믿지마 Don’t Trust Men

translation: bohyoung@shinwa.biz/forums

남자를믿지마 Don’t Trust Men – M

Casually I started feeling affection for you
At one point, you became family
But as I kept on staring at you, I started to get sick of you
The conscience of my heart kept pricking me

*So I let you go
Because I didn’t think I loved you that much
I sent you away, I..

**If you try leave, I’ll hold on to you
But if you come back, I’ll feel burdened
This is how men are, I’m a bad man
Don’t trust such a cowardly man

You’re too good to give to someone else
But you’re not someone I want to keep
I don’t want to marry you, but I do want to date you
This is how men are, I’m a bad man
Don’t trust such a cowardly man

I really love you, but I always make you sad
I really am a bad man
Don’t forgive me

*
**
I don’t know me, but I can’t stop
I don’t know me, but I can’t stop
I don’t know me, but I can’t stop
I don’t know me, but you know

Don’t come any closer, I’ll just feel more apologetic
Leave me alone now, don’t love a guy like me

December Tenth

Above the rest;

too fair to err,

to wilt,

or to whet–

behind the ears.

 

A simple request.

Lay down your arms,

your charms.

Pray, lay down.

Between dark tresses,

bless’ed.

 

The captured and the captivated. 

Manipulated, we capitulated.

 

For alarm or applause,

let us pause.

Loosed not lucid,

come undone.

Optimism

“No matter how dramatic a person’s direct experience is, it is always exceeded by the experience of an instrument.”

-Joseph Brodsky, A Poet and Prose

 

In muscles tensed; in strings left quivering; in brush-strokes sketched with regret; in lens-clicks quicker than a skipped heartbeat; in the blood-letting of pen upon paper: Poetry and Prose—tragic beauty, so elusive to reality, is finally, finally, found.

Unaware yet eager, born believing art imitates life (of all things!), you, I, we lived such crude and clumsy outlines of artistic lyricism, lives drawn with the unused hand–disconnected from the cerebral, brain-dead. And on rare days, illuminated, pass the shadows of Muses. And? And we—we looked away.

Choose to look—within the awkward glance, within the painful memory, within the unconscious speech and conscious action, I delve within.  Performing, privately, the craftsman consumed by craft.

Art, look how alive you are, breathing newborn vapors vivid and inspired. And reality, you, once pregnant with promise, what are these trite remains of dreams stillborn? I stand, holding our miscarriages in tired arms; there is no room to embrace another.

Jealousy, despair, acceptance.

In living, let us do away with such things. I, at least, must do away with such things.

To be born believing art imitates life, and to die believing life can imitate art. This is optimism. 

Said Sir Hugh

“…and from thence he went into Italy, where he found such stately Danes and lovely Ladies, whom nature had adorned with all perfection of outward beauty, whose sight put him again in rememberance of his fair Love, which, like fresh fuel newly augmented to the flame of his burning desire, O (said he) how unhappy am I to be haunted by these heart tormenting fiends, bewitching the eyes of simple men with Angel-like faces, and, like enchanting Circes, bringing them to a labyrinth of continual woes.”